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Week 2: Sideshow Mel vs. Dilbert

To vote, simply answer the following question:

Which person, if real, has the potential to offer the greatest contribution(s) to society?

Cast your vote three ways:

  • Submit your answer in the comments of this post
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Week 2 match-up: Sideshow Mel vs. Dilbert

Need some inspiration? Learn more about Sideshow Mel and Dilbert.

Representatives from the Cornell and MIT Alumni Associations will be looking for posts that are clever, witty, absurd, and downright ridiculous. The more entertaining we find your comment to be, the more likely it will tip the scale in favor of your alma mater. Voting ends each Friday at 1:00 p.m. ET.

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26 Comments

  1. Like Sideshow Bob before him, Sideshow Mel’s talents are wasted on Krusty’s show. He’s a prime example of someone not living up to their potential. Sadly, I think Dilbert is also a prime example of someone not living up to their potential, wasting his Masters degree for a really messed up company. I’d call this a tie (or better yet, a double DQ).

    Reply
  2. khannon

     /  October 3, 2011

    Mel is a Shakespearian actor with an “Entertainer of the Year Award” under his belt! You cannot but a price on artistic contributions…especially when you contribute them via a British accent.

    Reply
  3. Goodwin

     /  October 3, 2011

    This contest is rapidly becoming lopsided.

    Reply
  4. Bill Flarsheim

     /  October 3, 2011

    Dilbert strives tirelessly against all of the clueless managers in the world and helps the rest of us nerds, tools and grinds make it to Friday as well.

    Reply
  5. Ben

     /  October 3, 2011

    Sideshow Mel may play the slide whistle, but at least he doesn’t play second fiddle to a cat who gets all the good one-liners. Not to say that Cornell is a Clown College, but it leaves your options open…

    Reply
  6. Ammar.Z

     /  October 4, 2011

    But you know, according to the chart, the winner here will face Lex Luthor, we might as well skip this match and announce Lex an instant winner.

    Reply
    • khannon

       /  October 4, 2011

      Does that bone in Mel’s hair looked scared? After being subjected to the “humor” of Krusty the Clown for many years, anything Lex could dish out would be a walk in the park.

      Reply
  7. C. Kim

     /  October 4, 2011

    Dilbert, with no mouth on his face and a tie shaped like a parabola, obviously is a man whose actions speak louder than his words…

    Reply
  8. Google search:
    Dilbert: 11,300,000 hits
    Sideshow Mel: 973,000 hits

    Facebook search:
    Dilbert: 16,182 people like this
    Sideshow Mel: 0 people like this

    ’nuff said

    Reply
    • Ben

       /  October 6, 2011

      Yes, if ’nuff is short for Nuffin!

      Google search:
      Hitler: 25,300,000 hits
      Louis Pasteur: 5,650,000

      Five Brand Gum: 5,375,438 people like this
      Cure for Cancer: 406 people like this

      Reply
  9. The Quantum Mechanic

     /  October 5, 2011

    OK, let’s look at their accomplishments in their current positions:

    1. Sideshow Mel: Nothing.
    2. Dilbert: Nothing.

    Neither has accomplished anything; so let’s see why not. Who is holding them back?

    1. Sideshow Mel: Krusty the Clown
    2. Dilbert: a. The pointy-haired boss
    b. Wally
    c. Dogbert
    d. Catbert, evil HR director
    e. Alice
    f. Asok the intern
    . . .

    It requires more people to keep Dilbert down; therefore, Dilbert has greater potential to contribute to society . . . if only he could.

    Dilbert FTW.

    Reply
  10. Carolyn

     /  October 5, 2011

    DILBERT

    Reply
  11. Chaz

     /  October 6, 2011

    Dilbert, even without his mouth, keeps his company sane. Without him, whole mess of folks, led by that malcontent Alice, will go postal, resulting in mayhem, outsourcing to Elbonia, and the end of American technological hegemony as we know it. By contrast, Sideshow Mel is merely a feckless replacement for Sideshow Bob, a more eloquent and sinister Yale graduate.

    Reply
    • khannon

       /  October 6, 2011

      What about Mel’s “Entertainer of the Year” award?? He performed for the masses, going out on a limp and leaving himself vulnerable to critics and a live audience. He gave back to his community! Dilbert’s “humor” and “wit” are confined to the walls of his office. His sarcastic comments, while sometimes a humorous anecdote of the office hierarchy, do nothing for society because 99% of society exists beyond his stale cubicle.

      Reply
  12. Sideshow Mel. Only fat old guys relate to Dilbert. Sideshow Mel has universal appeal.

    Reply
  13. A simple look at the wardrobe shows that Mel is a world traveler. He interacts with people, learns from them and influences others on his mass media platform. Dilbert wears the corporate uniform, is locked in a cubicle and talks to a dog. He’s a small step away from sad, lonely Jon Arbuckle.

    Reply
  14. Aron Katz

     /  October 6, 2011

    Slide-whistles make you smile; spreadsheets make you cry.

    Reply
  15. Sideshow Mel

     /  October 6, 2011

    Sideshow Mel!

    Reply
  16. Chris

     /  October 6, 2011

    Sideshow Mel makes millions mirthful. Dilbert lays bare the ennui of modern existence. If this were a French competition, I might go for Dilbert, but as it is not, my vote goes to my fellow Cornellian, Sideshow Mel.

    Reply
  17. nelson brock

     /  October 6, 2011

    Dilbert for sure!

    Reply
  18. Ana

     /  October 6, 2011

    Dilbert contributes to society in a quiet, yet very powerful ways. He prevents engineering and corporate disasters on a daily basis. He stops medicore bosses and psychotic coworkers from getting their way. He prevents Catbert from ruthlessly taking over the world. Imagine how terrible the world of Dilbert would be without him. Shudder to think…If Sideshow Mel were gone, there would be another Sideshow replacement ready and eager to take Krusty’s abuse and to promote the decay of the minds of children.

    Reply
  19. Joe

     /  October 6, 2011

    Who picked these guys? Really? This is what we’re down to in round two? I call for a rematch.

    Reply
  20. Dilbert rules.

    Reply
  21. Chaz

     /  October 7, 2011

    Wait! Sideshow Mel was replaced last year by Sideshow Les, an honors Brown graduate with a major in Renaissance Hygiene, and NO ONE NOTICED!! Krusty still calls the new guy Sideshow Bob, unaware that his sidekick has been replaced twice.

    Reply

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