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Hero Over Hotels: Stark Wins Arrogance Bowl

They say money can’t buy you happiness, well, apparently it can’t buy you a victory in the Fictional Alumni tournament, either. Though, money aside, what chance did a slimy heir to a hotel chain have against a dashing super hero? Answer: none. Tony Stark, AKA Iron Man, made it two wins in a row for MIT and gave the Engineers a 3-2 edge over Cornell in what is being called “the most exciting thing to happen to fictional alumni since the ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ cast got their own Broadway spin-off [UNCONFIRMED]!”

For most of the Big Red faithful, this was a battle not worth waging. In every skirmish there are pawns and Cornellians seemed very comfortable with sacrificing the toxic Neil Kellerman and save a more respectable alumnus to fight another day. Though, to their credit, some did make a case for why the over-privileged jerk offered more to society than the mighty Iron Man:

“As much as this pains me, here’s my attempt: Neil is on his way to running a successful resort, which will bring joy and relaxation to all who stay there. Tony Stark is a weapons dealer. Make love, not war: it’s the Cornell way.” –Marcela

MIT Alumni seemed genuinely skeptical that Stark vs. Kellerman was actually the matchup of the week:

“for serious? is this really a contest? tony stark is FRIGGIN IRON MAN!” – @tdohz

“Neil who? I think someone rigged this fight, there’s no one over in the Cornell corner.” Joe

“Who the f— is Neil Kellerman? We all know Ironman and Ironman 2. Cmon!!” – @dd0ck

“We sub in the dorky engineer who died in the Fast and the Furious I and we’d still win this one.” – Chun

There were some MIT alums that played nice and delivered a more “concrete” argument for why Stark should prevail:

“Stark built his own flying suit & protects the world. Did Neil even graduate? No contest, Stark wins” – @mit1987

“Thanks to iron man, we have advanced in the areas of super-powered exoskeletons, artificial heart implants and small high powered energy sources.”- Lynne

There is no question this was the most lopsided matchup of the tournament. What remains to be seen is can Cornell rally back from such a monstrous defeat and pull even with their counterparts from MIT? Will Cornell “lay down the law” or will MIT field another “world saving” hero to crush the Big Red spirit? Check back Monday afternoon to see the next matchup!

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  • Congrats, Tony Stark!

    Tournament brackets

    Click to enlarge. See full brackets below.

  • What's at stake?
    The winning school will take ownership of the soon-to-be-constructed Social Media Cup trophy.

    The losing school will be forced to produce a video that pays homage to both the tournament winner and his or her alma mater and promote the video on their own Facebook page.

  • Check out the complete brackets

    Tournament brackets

    Click to enlarge

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